Speaker: Josephine

Hi everyone, welcome to the Love to Live Healthy show. I’m Josephine Fitzpatrick. Happy April everyone. 

For the month of April, we are focusing on the importance of appreciation. Today’s podcast is about working for what you want while appreciating the life you have and the body you live in. I don’t think we realize how important these things go together. 

I want you to think about this question Can you appreciate yourself and your life if you do not feel good about yourself? Seriously, don’t just answer a quick yes or no. Really think about it. Can you really truly appreciate what is going on in your life if you are not in a good place with your mind and body, if you don’t feel good about yourself? Well, I can tell you after dealing with thousands of clients, the answer for most is no. You can never truly appreciate where you are in life, or appreciate all the big and little happy things that go on in your life, if you do not feel good in your body and mind. 

You have to feel good about yourself to really appreciate what’s going on around you. Think about all the big things that are going on right now. So many people have so many things going on, planning Summer vacations, graduations, bar mitzvahs, communions, sweet 16. Whatever’s going on in your life or your world, will you really appreciate that day or that week when you don’t feel good in your body? How can you really appreciate any experience when you don’t feel good in the body you have? 

Now listen, I’m not talking about being a size zero. I’m talking about feeling your best in your body, and whatever that means to you. For some it’s feeling fit, feeling strong, feeling thin, maybe it’s just feeling in control with your food, which always gives you control in your life. Whatever that feeling is, you need to have that in order to really appreciate all the things that are going on in your life, even the little daily things like going to the beach or barbecue with friends, waking up and appreciating having a day in front of you to enjoy with your husband, or with your significant other, or with your family or friends. You will only truly appreciate these things when you feel your best in your mind and body. 

So I decided for April that, while we are working really hard for what we want, we are also going to stop and appreciate what we have, from big to little things. We are going to take notice of it and appreciate it. Listen, you know how I love to keep things positive. I mean, really, what else do we have to live on than our own positive thoughts and actions? And for some they are in real tough times and finding appreciation for anything can be a real challenge when times are really tough and things aren’t going well in your life. And listen, it’s inevitable that we all will face hardships and challenges throughout our life from health to family, money, career, kids.

Life can be really hard, and for some so much harder than others, and it is in these scenarios that you really have to learn how to appreciate everything you have and what’s around you, the big and little things you know. I tell my kids all the time it’s life challenges that not only make you stronger, it really also helps you appreciate all the good things you have in your life, the little things that you didn’t even notice before, that not everyone else has. For example, being able to go for a workout. It sounds so simple, but it takes time, it takes money and it takes a healthy body. Not everyone has all those things. We forget that. We sometimes take so much for granted that we forget to appreciate the smallest things that keep us going every day. It’s a fact that embracing, celebrating and appreciating your life can greatly enhance your well-being and your overall happiness.

Cultivating a healthy relationship with yourself is definitely not easy, trust me. I see clients every day and I know when they don’t feel good about themselves and it changes their mindset of what is in front of them, how they’re going to handle it when they don’t feel good about where they are at. You have to have your mindset positive. You know you’ll either go to a negative or a positive, and I’m telling you that you have to keep that mindset positive to get to where you want to be, because if you let it go to the negative, you will not only be able to not appreciate anything, but it will keep you stuck where you are or put you in an even worse place. So how do we keep the mindset positive so we can keep ourself in a good direction and appreciate what is going on in and around our life?

You need goals. Yes, you need some good April goals, because that will help you continue working for what you want. And when you’re working for what you want, feeling good about the future is one of the keys to success and happiness. We all need goals to motivate us. It should be challenging enough to excite you, but also achievable. But choosing an ambitious but realistic goal will give your life direction and bring a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. When you get close to it and finally achieve it, and when you feel good, you will be able to appreciate everything in your life and what’s ahead of it.

Think about it If you’re on program and you have goals that you’re working toward, you’re going to feel in control and when you feel in control, it gives you control in your whole life. Clients tell me all the time, even when they’re losing slow or weak, they didn’t see any weight loss. Being on program is so much better than being off program. That is because it’s a sense of control of your day, your food, your body and when you’re doing the right thing you feel better. You know the weight loss will follow, but you feel better eating on program and following your meals and snacks because you know it’s going to get you to where you want to be. Plus it just makes you feel overall lighter and healthier. And even when you are not at goal and just have that sense of control and feel good working towards your goal, that is going to help you appreciate everything you have going on and in and around your life.

So let’s talk about some April goals. A great short-term goal for April is where do you want to be by May 1st? You know, think about it. That is so doable. Where do you want to be by May 1st? It’s four weeks. Do you want to do one pound a week? Two pounds a week? Is it a certain number? Do you want to fit in a certain outfit? 

So let’s start by setting a short-term goal. That’s the first thing you have to do, because that short-term goal is going to start you and you’re going to feel so good going in a direction that you feel you have control in.

Now, listen, if you have been on program, which so many of you are, it’s still a great time to set some monthly goals. Think about where you wanna be May 1st. It will not only continue to give you direction, but it will also help keep you motivated each month. You just continue on your path, continue doing the right things, and you know that every day, you are one day closer to your goals and the body you want. And in the meantime, you have the control over yourself and your life, and there’s no better feeling or way to appreciate what you have today and what is in front of you.

If you have not been doing the right thing and not been on program. You need to get back on. Regardless of where you are right now, one solid week sometimes is all it takes to get back on track, to feeling great. That should be your first goal is to commit to one solid week. When you have a week that is 110% clean and on program, it really doesn’t take much to start seeing the loss and feeling immediately better. It takes one solid week of commitment and you want to start it by setting your goal for April. Where do you want to be May 1st? More importantly, where do you want to be in a week from now? First, you want to have a solid week behind you that you were amazing, and then work toward your goals for the month.

Let’s go over some tips on how to stick with your goal for April. 

First is promise and commitment to yourself. Don’t think about the actual goal. Instead, remember that your goal is a promise and commitment you made to yourself. It’s easy to say who cares? All right, who cares? I went off, or I ate that extra snack, no big deal, I didn’t run or I didn’t exercise this week. But, it’s not the actual goal that you gave up on, though. You made a promise to yourself, a promise and a commitment to yourself to do this. You know how happy it will make you and it will be a lot happier than any extra you’re going to feed yourself to take you out of your promise and commitment. Remember you want to keep the commitments and the promises you make to yourself because once you break those promises, once you break those commitments, you are giving yourself the excuse and lack of discipline to break other promises and commitments. Every time something gets challenging in your life, every time something gets hard, the most important promises and commitments in life are the ones you make to yourself. Those are the ones you need to keep, before any other promises and commitments.

Number two don’t give up. Remember, before you give up on your goal because you are stressed or because anything that is not going on right in your life, remind yourself giving up on your goal is going to make it worse, not better. The one thing you can control is completing your goal. If you don’t give up and you do one solid week, it’s going to make next week even easier. If you finish your goal for the month, it’s going to make the next month even easier. Every week and every month, you will feel more motivated and stronger to handle what’s in front of you, it gets easier. It doesn’t get harder. The longer you are on, the better you do. It gets easier, it doesn’t get harder.

Number three don’t allow setbacks to destroy your goals. Unfortunately, many things don’t go as expected, no matter how much planning we do. When you can be patient with yourself, that is key to approaching bumps in the road in a positive way. Accept the hiccup in your day or week and just get back on. Even if you had a moment of weakness, the most important thing you can do for yourself is to get right back on program. All the clients you see that look amazing, I promise you. They have had hiccups, they have had really bad cheat days, they have had setbacks, but they get right back on and that is why they look the way they do. That is why you never notice their hiccup, because it only affects their moment, not their week, or their month.

Number four plan, prepare and follow through. I will preach this forever because you don’t always overeat when you are hungry. In fact, it’s almost never about the food, it’s about everything else that’s going on in your life. So when you can plan and prepare, when something comes up, good or bad, you just follow what you planned and prepared and that will keep you moving forward. That will keep you where you need to be.

Number five push yourself. Without pushing yourself to your limits, you will never know how far you can go and what you can really achieve. I say it all the time it’s okay to be a little uncomfortable. That usually happens because you’re pushing yourself and if you’re not a little uncomfortable, you’re not pushing yourself hard enough. This month, give yourself that extra push every day to complete your goal and don’t let yourself make any excuses why it’s not important. We don’t like to be uncomfortable, so a lot of times we’ll put an excuse in place, but you have to decide how important this is to you. How hard you push is going to determine how much you want it. That extra push and being a little uncomfortable can make all the difference. Remember, this is a journey and it’s your journey. You have to do what makes you happy.

I can tell you what I see. When clients feel their best, when clients are doing the right thing and they’re following their program and they have goals and they know they’re moving forward, they appreciate everything going on. I see it everyday. I see it in the way they text. I see it when they come in my office. You’re a different person when you’re doing the right thing and living in a healthy body, feeling good about yourself. That makes all the difference. Every month you have choices lose weight, maintain gain.

How you live, how much work you do, how much time you put into what you want it all determines your outcome. No one else can do this for you. No one else can make it happen except for you. It takes more than just saying you want it. You have to work hard for it every day. You have to remember. It’s easy to say the words I appreciate, but living in appreciation, it’s two different things. And in order to live in appreciation, you have to feel good about yourself.

I think life is way too short to not appreciate everything you have and everything that’s in it. It’s not comparing to what everyone else has. It’s about you and only you. What you have in your life, how important it is to you and how you feel about it is going to make all the difference in how you live. We know the very best way to appreciate the life you have and the body you live in is by taking care of yourself. When you take care of yourself from the inside out, you will create a positive mindset and feel good and excited about today, tomorrow and what is to come in your future.

So let’s set an April goal and get yourself in a good, positive mindset and keep moving forward to what you want. When you are in control in your body, it gives you control over your life and that is when you can truly appreciate everything that’s in it. 

Okay, that’s all I have for you today. So remember, next week is a client story of her weight loss and I can’t wait for you to hear her journey. I’m wishing everyone a healthy, happy week full of love. Thanks for tuning in. Hugs from me to all of you.

~Love to Live Healthy with Josephine Fitzpatrick

Josephine (Host)

Hi everyone, welcome to the Love to Live Healthy show. I’m Josephine Fitzpatrick. Today we have a very special guest, Stephanie Luft from Merrick. I’m going to bring Stephanie in now. Hi, stephanie, hi, how are you? How are you Good? So thank you for joining us. I’m so excited. 

Stephanie (Guest)

Oh, my pleasure, take it easy. 

Josephine (Host)

So you are definitely like one of my long time clients, right? 

Stephanie (Guest)

I think I’ve been following your program over eight years. Yes, eight and a half years now.

Josephine (Host)

That’s amazing. That’s so exciting. I love that. So, how much did you lose? 

Stephanie (Guest)

Yes, so originally I lost about 11. That was my original goal weight was to lose 11. Total, I’m probably down about 17 or 18.  

Josephine (Host)

That’s amazing, yeah. So your total is 18, but your original goal was 11. But what’s funny is, once you got to this new number, now that’s your number. 

Stephanie (Guest)

Yeah, and now I think about that number. Like what do you mean I was seven pounds more at one point. How could I have been 7 lbs more than this number.

Josephine (Host)

It’s so funny how that happens. 

Now, what’s different? I think, too. And what I love about your story and I wanted to share is you go through times because it has been, you know, almost nine years where you have little instances of maybe like something going on in your life or whatever, and you go up a couple of pounds and you come in, and immediately, as soon as you come back in and you’ve done it so many times you lose it in like the first or second week.

Stephanie (Guest)

So it’s funny because I came into the office like two months ago and you put me right back on track. I lost it in two weeks. 

So I went through some medical things so I couldn’t really work out the way I wanted to, and also accepting age too. I mean, I started this journey nine years ago, so there’s a big difference between being in your early 40s and being in your early 50s, Right, like the change of your body and everything else that’s happening along with your diet and your exercise, but also your hormones right. 

Josephine (Host)

Yes, exactly, a big difference.

So what everyone doesn’t know. Stephanie makes me laugh all the time. Every time she’s in the office. Since I’ve known her, she’s just hysterical. So when she doesn’t feel good about her body, she will not walk into the bathroom, she backs into the bathroom. 

Stephanie (Guest)

So my husband can see the better parts of me. It’s so funny because you know my whole life I was always hung up on like having a big, you know, big ass, like when I gain weight that’s where it goes, but like I needed to be born after the Kardashian error, and the JLO error. So when we were younger, you know that was always the thing. Right.

(Both Laughing)

Josephine (Host)

Yes. Right. So Funny.

And just so you know this is her talking, because if you saw her, you would be like, oh my God, that’s what I dreamed to look like. 

Stephanie (Guest)

Thank you, thank you, but everybody has their hand up. 

Josephine (Host)

Everyone has them

Stephanie (Guest)

And when I started working with you and my goal weight was like six pounds more than I am now, it was like I could never imagine the number that I’m at right now. That was like I don’t even think I was this number in high school. 

But you know, everybody puts pressure on themselves and like we talk about, I think there’s a pressure where we live. 

Josephine (Host)

Yeah, right, Of course yeah, and that’s a big thing. But the other sense too is sometimes if you don’t have that little bit of obsession it can so easily get out of hand. 

Stephanie (Guest)

It did and you totally brought me back. So I felt so much better because I left and it was like shocking to me and you just said to me just you know, change one snack and it immediately worked. And it really did make all the difference.

Josephine (Host)

It’s always the little details that make the most difference. 

Stephanie (Guest)

You know you and I have discussed this before. How many times at work I’ve been skinny shamed at work, I think. I think more at work than outside of work. I had one person actually and we spoke about this too was she at one point like, shook my pants and she’s like Are you okay, are you sick? These are so big on you. And I was like, first of all, didn’t ask you and, second of all, what was that about? But I think a lot of it is just, you know, through jealousy.

Josephine (Host)

Yeah yeah, and I do think the worst comes out when someone’s jealous. And listen. We always have to remember weight loss is one of the hardest things to do. We’re surrounded by temptation all the time and when you see someone jealous of course because it’s so hard to lose weight. I think like to your point before when you said when your coworker said that to you I think it just sometimes, when you’re in such a good place and you look so good, it can make other people very uncomfortable.

Stephanie (Guest)

Yeah. You are right I didn’t think about it like that.

Josephine (Host)

Yeah, that’s when you force people to look at themselves and a lot of times when someone’s not in a good place, they don’t, don’t want to do that you know,. 

Stephanie (Guest)

Yeah. But you’re right, there’s so much temptation. So every time I’m at a meeting at work, there’s the one who I said to you. She comes with a huge, huge bowl of candy and sticks it like right in the middle of the table. And usually I’m in the middle and the other day I took like a paper towel and I stuck it on top and put something else on top so I didn’t have to see it. And they’re like what are you doing? I’m like I can’t sit here and stare at peppermint patties when they’re like my favorite. 

And that same group would sometimes just if there was a party and they’re having cake like just because it’s your birthday doesn’t mean I have to eat cake on a Tuesday, right? And they’re like you’re not gonna have a bite. I’m like I’m good and they are like but you could afford it. You’re so skinny. 

Josephine (Host)

That is why you look the way you do, because you’re not doing the cake on a Tuesday just because it’s there. 

But you know, I love that. I think it’s so important for people to hear, like, what other people go through when they’re when they’re trying to lose weight, because while you handle it so well, I have clients who really get so upset they cry. You know, I had one client recently who cried at the table because her friend supposedly was skinny shaming her at the dinner. And you know it’s hurtful because you’re trying so hard to lose weight and when you get to a good place, instead of people going well, you look great. And understanding that’s why you look great and all the positive things that you’d want to hear from your friends, and instead it’s reverse, or the opposite, and it can really be hurtful. So it’s good. I love the way you handle it. I think that’s so great. 

So tell me one thing as far as like how you feel, especially because you’ve been on for so long. Give me an idea of like what you do when you go on vacation. Like how do you handle that? Because these are questions clients ask me all the time. So, of course, when I tell them, it’s one thing, but when they hear from you or a client, it’s a big difference. 

Stephanie (Guest)

So it’s funny because some people say, oh, you’re on vacation, but I’m like, okay, I need to. There’s so many things like swirling around in my head. So it’s funny because sometimes we go on vacation or sometimes you know, we have our vacation place and it’s like being at home and for some reason, I don’t know it’s harder for me sometimes now to be there than if we just were on vacation and going to restaurants all the time. I do think to myself like, yes, I’m on vacation, but I know that at the end, if I’m gaining four pounds, three pounds, two pounds, it’s not making me happy. Like recently when we were away, I tried to do the best I could and we were, you know, in our apartment and I was really sticking to it, 

Josephine (Host)

Which it’s funny because if you gain a pound or two, you know you’re going to lose it. 

Stephanie (Guest)

Yes, but I don’t want to go through the pain of like agonizing over it,. Like the other day when we were away, we were in our apartment and you know my husband, he’ll weigh himself to most days and I was like tempted to get on the scale. So I get on the scale and and he’s asking me questions and I’m not responding. I said do me a favor, just don’t even talk to me. I’m not in a good mood and I’m not answering anything. This is just a warning for you. 

Josephine (Host)

(Laughing) Oh it’s always good to give warnings. 

Stephanie (Guest)

I was like don’t talk to me, because I got on the scale and I was pissed off. (Laughing), yes so I gave him the warning.

Josephine (Host)

Do you think it’s harder now for you to get back as quick. 

Stephanie (Guest)

I think so, but I think I’m also mentally struggling, like I said, with the change of body because of the medical reasons why I couldn’t work out the way I wanted to. You know it’s just cardio. And I know that I’m thin because of the sizes that I wear because of what the scale says. 

Josephine (Host)

Cardio is very good for you mentally. It really does help you. It’s like a different level, a different feeling. So even if your weight stayed the same, I don’t think you would necessarily feel the same without it, because your body is so used to doing it. 

Stephanie (Guest)

Yes, you are right and that makes me feel better. But like it’s so funny. So this is, it’s like it’s either. You know, we used to say I either have a full face and a big ass or small face and a small ass, because I lose my weight from there. Now the conundrum, as I’m sitting in the sun and I don’t want to get it on my face, so I sit up and then I look at my stomach and I have these like lines from where the rolls are tanning, that everybody really has. And now it’s either I have a pale face and I have these lines in my stomach, or I’m going to have like a good tan stomach the way it should be, and my face looking like leather.  So, we just catch a break here when you’re losing weight and trying to get to where you want to be (laughing)

Josephine (Host)

(Laughing). So true, But also, I think the biggest thing is, what we’re talking about, too, is age, because how much more do we worry about getting a tan now than we did when we were younger? 

Stephanie (Guest)

Yes, right exactly. Now when I sit in the sun I’m on to the umbrella and I don’t care, because then it’s like all right. Well, you know, I’m trying to use every product to get rid of the sunspots. 

Josephine (Host)

Yes, right and as soon as you go out in the sun they all come back. I agree. As we get older, it’s just such a different mindset, because we used to be like, I can remember pictures of you in your bathing suit on the boat. But now it’s like you don’t even want to go in the sun.

Stephanie (Guest)

(Laughing) But that picture was like the ideal day I said to my husband and to my sister and to my kids see this picture. This is a picture you’re going to use it if I ever go missing. This is what’s going to be on all over channel seven. She is missing and she looks like this. (Laughing)

Josephine (Host)

(Laughing) That is hysterical, you are so funny. But I think that was actually before you got to your thinnest. 

Stephanie (Guest)

It’s probably before I was at this weight, Yeah.

Josephine (Host)

That was before you lost the last 6 pounds, and look at how you loved, how you looked. Now look at what you just said. And now you’re six pounds lighter. 

Stephanie (Guest)

Yeah. You are right. 

Stephanie (Guest)

I never old you this so other people would say you know, who is Josephine. Because sometimes Danny will reference, you know, like if the kids are over, oh, Josephine says don’t eat that. And they are like who is Josephine, And Danny says, it’s the little person that sits on her shoulder during meals, and pipes things into her ear (laughing)

Josephine (Host)

(Laughing) Oh my God, that is so funny. I love that.  So this is at your lowest weight. 

Stephanie (Guest)

I’m sure you’re going to want me to say this, okay, so I have my low number that I aim for, and then, for whatever reason, I got like two pounds lower than that and it scared me, my body scared me, like I’m seeing bones and I’m like I cannot look like that. So you know, when they say you can’t be too rich or too thin, like for me, like I was.

Josephine (Host)

Yes, I remember when that happened. And there is a fine line you have to be careful at. And that’s why I said before, you know which I don’t even think you’ve ever realized like when you were talking about, like your picture on the boat, like you said, that was the best you felt at the time, like you’d never look better. Meanwhile you ended up losing six pounds more. Now, after that, I know what you mean. Like when you go to that fine line of another two pounds more, it can really change how you look in a bad way, you know. You just start losing everything you know, and that’s not good either. But that’s when you know, like you look at yourself and you say, okay, wait. Because I do know unfortunately Women tend too, and men, I’m sure do too, but they tend to go on what other people say. So sometimes you’ll get someone who’ll say, oh, don’t lose any more weight, you look too thin and you really don’t. But I know I have clients who, if people don’t say to them you look too thin, they don’t feel thin, they’re like why isn’t anybody saying it to me? I hear that all the time from them because it kind of reaffirms that they feel like they’re in a good place. But it doesn’t always mean that, because sometimes people are like you’re too thin and you really might be. I’ve said it to clients you can’t lose any more weight and sometimes, like you said, it’s not even on purpose. Your body’s in that weight loss mode and I know people are listening going I wish I had that. Your body has been losing weight for a while so it just keep losing. But it doesn’t last, it will stop and eventually it’ll balance out. And then all of a sudden you find yourself like oh, I just I want to be that one number again. But it’s very hard to be that one number and that’s why I always say you need those two or three pounds that give you flexibility in your weight it can never be just one number. 

I wanted to say too, which I love you with your cheat day. Now, a lot of times I have actually in the last, I guess, couple of years, two years I’ve been putting people on cheat meal because they just cannot handle a cheat day, and a lot of times it is because they’re not being 100% during the week, which you know, when you have that cheat day, you have to be 100% during the week. 

Stephanie (Guest)

Yes totally. 

Josephine (Host)

But your stories with your cheat day are just by far the best. 

Stephanie (Guest)

I’ll tell you one because I don’t think I’ve ever shared this with you. So you know, typically my cheat days are on a Saturday and typically when you get together with friends it’s on a Saturday. So you know, I save it for dinner and during the summer we’ll be with friends at the beach or we go to their house or a pool. We have a couple that we’re very good friends with, and when they first met me and I would do my cheat day, I think that he was shocked, right. So he makes a barbecue and while I’m eating the ribs with all the guys, all the other women are eating these dainty salads, and he’s like Stephanie, eats like a gavone. 

So they tell that daughter that. And she’s like you said that to her. He is like, yeah, I shouldn’t have. She’s like no woman wants to hear that they eat like a gavone. (Laughing).  And I’m like, I’m good with it, I’m proud of it, because you know I can wear a bikini and eat like that on a Saturday (both laughing)

But yeah, then Sunday morning comes and I get right back, because mentally, Sunday just resets me, right, it’s just right back and then I’m good. Yeah, I just, I really can discipline and get right back, on Sunday.

Josephine (Host)

Yes that is so important. I really keep trying to tell people that is like one of the best things you can learn from this program, for example, the way you just said it, like you almost embrace getting back on every Sunday, like you can’t wait. I love that.

The best part of this whole thing is you’ve been on so long and you really live the program. 

Stephanie (Guest)

Yes, I really do.

Josephine (Host)

You really do and I love that. I am So thankful that you shared your story, I’m telling you that you don’t even realize how much these help everyone. Every time I do a podcast, people come in. They’re like I love that. I learned so much. Just learning how to deal with people, and the strategies you use helps so much. Especially since you had such a rough year with medical issues.

Stephanie (Guest)

Yeah, and you know, just because I’m talking to you now doesn’t mean that even during the outside of this rough year, that I haven’t bounced up a few pounds at certain times and bounce back down.

Josephine (Host)

(Laughing) Yes, I know that is when you come back in and I get to see you.

Stephanie (Guest)

(Laughing). I love you and I so appreciate you having me. 

Josephine (Host)

Thank you so much. I love you. I appreciate you. Have the best weekend. 

Stephanie (Guest)

Thank you so much. 

Josephine (Host)

Thank you so much, stephanie. That was an amazing story. We appreciate you. We appreciate your time and we appreciate so much of sharing your journey with us, how you’ve dealt with going up and down in the last nine years and how you deal with all the outside circumstances that go on in almost everyone’s life. So thank you.

And we want to thank everyone who’s listening today and has been sharing the love to live healthy podcast. We appreciate it. We appreciate the likes, we appreciate the comments. Please, any questions you have, leave down below. We’re here for you. We want you to live healthy and love living your best life. Much hugs and loves from me to all of you. Have a great one everyone. 

~Love to Live Healthy With Josephine Fitzpatrick